Is divorce the cure for a bad marriage?

Six days in a row, writing this Blog.  Learning about myself while writing to help others.  Writing about my brother, long gone, dead by his own hand, was the most difficult thing to write, ever.  If you have read my other posts, you know why.

DIVORCE.  It’s what comes at the end of a Marriage.  So I’ll write about Marriage first, Divorce at the end.  I can’t write about YOUR marriage, so I’ll tell you about mine.  It felt good for a couple of years, then faded away.  I was still grieving the loss of my brother, and desperately needed someone to LOVE

I married a woman, pushed at me by her parents, after I had sex for the very first time (with her).  Overwhelming.  And to top it off, I ignored what my alleged "mother" said about her.  Six weeks was all it took to make a very very big mistake.

I thought I loved her, but she was selfish.  Such people take, they don't give.  And going from no "sex" to my very first time with another person was overwhelming.  Love?  Maybe he was just a fool, you're thinking.  Actually, as intelligent as I am supposed to be, I was FOOLED.  Whether I loved her or not is irrelevant. 

She did NOT love me, and a couple years down the road, my feelings for her started to fade.  When she took a guy into our home while I was at work, that was the end, because by that time there wasn't anything left to "save," so we parted ways amicably, simply by telling the judge our "marriage" was dead. 

At the courthouse, I asked if she EVER really loved me.  (Amicable, for sure.)  Emotionless and numb more accurate.  Oh, her answer was NO.  So, I just had to ask WHY she married me.  Her exact words, “Because you had potential.” Very nice way to reveal herself for what she was.  Use your imagination for what she dd for money.

All so easy.  Get married to solve a problem.  Then you’ve got a bigger problem.  You have to break up a household, and call the movers.  STOP

Hold on a minute.  If you have done that, you know it ain’t that easy.  Sign a paper, you’re married.  A divorce usually is not easy, NEVER.  In my case, we did not need the $ervices of an attorney, there was no property, and no CHILDREN.

LET’S GET ONE THING STRAIGHT RIGHT NOW.   

If you have child(ren), listen up.  The worst thing a PARENT can do is hurt a child, especially theirs.  SO DON’T DO IT.  DON’T DO IT.  DON’T DO IT.

Don’t do what, you say?  How about this?  Don’t do what you have been doing so far that makes you think you have to get out.  Yes, I’m writing to YOU.  Go look in the nearest mirror, and say these words: “It’s not my fault.”  You said that when you were a kid, and broke something, remember?

Much too late for that lame excuse, isn’t it?  Whatever the state of the marriage now, it started out 50-50.  Somewhere back when, that changed.  Now, one of you is burdened with extra junk the other one is dumping on you.  You both must STOP.  Right NOW.  Today.

Oh, sorry.  You are an exception, because of abuse, drugs, and other horrible things.  Get whatever help you need RIGHT NOW in any way you can.  Take yourself and children to a safe place IMMEDIATELY.  If things have gone from bad to worse, call the Police, or your Sheriff.  

EVERYBODY ELSE: Thank your lucky stars things aren’t as bad for you as that.  Since you have not gone for a divorce yet, stop being selfish.  Stop thinking of yourself, think of YOUR CHILDREN.  You brought them into your life (adopted or not).  Not a temporary thing, like foster children, who often have it rough, bounced from place to place, sometimes without LOVE.

YOU wouldn’t wish that on your kid, would you?  You would?  Go away.  Nothing more to tell you, I guess.  For everybody else, THINK.  Children are not equipped to handle the death of a parent, and the DESERTION of a parent amounts to the same thing.  Hard word DESERTION.  Well that’s what it is.  YOU are supposed to be there, and you’re not going to be. 

JOINT CUSTODY is a band-aid for a kid’s biggest boo boo yet.  Never mind “having” to pick the kid up at inconvenient times.  Stuff like that will be only a small taste of what the years ahead will be like, for YOU.  Tough.  No sympathy from this child victim of a long ago divorce. 

CHILD VICTIM?  Yes, it HAD to happen to me, but getting a sadistic parent out of my life was worth growing up without a ”father,” because he did not deserve the honor that word implies.  If your kids LOVE you more than you LOVE them, what’s wrong with YOU?  One thing for sure, DESERTING them will not increase their love for you.  Eventually, they may hate you.  Don’t care?  OK, consider the CONSEQUENCES.

YOUR FUTURE:  The Consequences that follow the Court’s Final Decree ARE NOT FINAL.  They begin that day.  Alimony, Child Support, Lawyers, Government.  All related to M-O-N-E-Y.  You will never have enough of it, so you will have to reduce your lifestyle, so they won’t have to.  The Law will force you to pay your share, like it or not.  In the end, EVERYBODY LOSES IN A DIVORCE, EXCEPT LAWYERS. I could say a lot about some of them, but that's not my mission.

THEIR FUTURE:  Depends on Y-O-U, the person responsible for the young people living under your roof.  Will you be the Plaintiff or the Defendant?  How about NEITHER?  You have found this Blog, and read this far.  Looks to me you’re not 100% sure just yet.  CALL SOMEBODY RIGHT NOW, THIS MINUTE.  I mean that. Call who?  Any person you TRUST that can help you.  There are charities, organizations and government helpers.  Yes, just do a Web search, with AVOID DIVORCE in quotes, like this: “avoid divorce.”  56 MILLION HITS.  You can GET HELP TO SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE.  But you have to reach out, don't you?

DO IT FOR YOUR KIDS.  Try harder to hold things together until they grow up.  You’ll be rewarded with their LOVE (and maybe your future grandkids’ LOVE) later on.  Didn’t think that far ahead, did you?  Consequences, consequences..

I am not "here," right now of course, but if you post a Comment or especially have a question for me, I'll return and reply to you, for sure. What I'm hoping is that you will find the answer you are seeking right here in one of the Topics I wrote about. Because I wrote this Blog to HELP PEOPLE such as yourself. It's about LIFE, DEATH, and some of the things in between -- that happened to me. Click below, PLEASE.

The Beginning begins here === My FIRST post - an Introduction - if you landed here, CLICK THIS ONE NEXT.
SUICIDE AIN'T PAINLESS === It hurts everyone who gets left behind.
STOP beating up little kids! === Make him STOP. Call NOW. 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453)
Were you RAPED? Stop hiding. Tell someone TODAY === Call 1-800-656-HOPE (1-800-656-4673).
GUYS ONLY: Am I gay? === Where will YOU go in life as a PERSON?
YOU ARE HERE ===> Is DIVORCE the cure for a bad marriage? === Stop thinking of yourself, THINK OF YOUR CHILDREN.
CANCER takes a piece of everyone. === An ounce of PREVENTION is worth a pound of cure.
Has DEATH knocked on Your Door? === Someone who LOVED YOU really WANTS you to find PEACE.
Don't Ignore your MENTAL HEALTH === I wouldn't make the same MISTAKE I did, if I were YOU.
Get on with YOUR LIFE! === Do something for YOURSELF, YOU know you MUST, so START TODAY.

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This blog honors the memory of my brother, Allan, and my friend, Ron. R.I.P., guys.
Please don't hurt yourself and those who love you. Pick up the phone NOW.
Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 they WILL help.